polygamy

2025-09-19

Ever though about getting into a relationship? Can I trust my partner? Is it wrong being exclusive to someone?
Should my sexual life be a phone, that I can download new applications?

This is a personal take on polygamy(and non monogamy).

my view on a world filled with polygamy.

The idea of having multiple partners, that I can satisfy myself with things that are not possible with just one partner
sounds astonishing right? It can sound liberating at first, but as I kept thinking about it and
with all my past relationships, and everything that I went through and the potential mental workload on my mind, I say to myself, why? As much as they say, is never shared love, you're going to prefer some more than another, and suddenly it's not love anymore, it's a competition.

Why this in the first place?

anxiety.

I don't view me as a master of all things, a no problem person or whatever adjectives are there
in fact I'm pretty much broken, and without purpose, with a fear of tomorrow, invisible, but the most importantly, caring, you can say that's a flaw
and you can be right if you think about it, or terribly wrong, it doesn't matter right now
the thing is, am I not really enough? I always felt that way, and I still do feel that way, every time I search about it, I fell a spark of angst, for the future, for what I can endure, and if I really am something on my life, what would I be if I had multiple partners or a single one that may go out with another one when they fell like it and that's it, I'm the second choice, lonely and feeling like a toy not just for them but for the entire "network" of "partners", do I really feel close to them, or am I just being used for sexual things? And that's it? I don't want to be used or to use someone.

the state of everything.

If polygamy or non monogamy ever becomes a norm, I rather stay alone with myself, than being a sexual toy for people out there, I'm not moved by sexual things, I'm moved my love and trust, if you ever feel miserable thinking about polygamy or non monogamy, it isn't your fault, your thoughts matter, your life matters, monogamy is not toxic, your glorified selfish act is, while others consume you for their own "needs", and you consume others too, suddenly we're all empty, there's not such things as love, just addictions.

When your main relationship is a toy you prefer using more then others, you're the problem.